A man & a woman who never met before, find themselves on upper & lower berth of a long distance train. At 2 am, Man leans over saying, “Ma’m, sorry to bother you, Would you be kind enough to give me a 2nd blanket from the side table. Its awfully cold.
“I have a better idea”, she replied, “Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend that we are married !!
“Great idea Madam.”. He replied in excitement.
She says,”Well then Get up & take it yourself..”28 Nov, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Husband-wife sms Jokes SMS
Who are MEN?
Woh jo Narak meih bhi mile to kahe ….
“Abe !! Yamraj ki Beti dekhi ?? Aag hai Aag “!!
Who are Women ??
Who go to Heaven & say
No Dressing sense at All”..
A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,’Boy. What is your problem?’
Boy answered, ‘I’m too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!’
Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal’s office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: ‘What is 3 x 3?’ Boy.: ‘9 .
Principal: ‘What is 6 x 6?’ Boy.: ’36 .
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, ‘I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.’
Madam says to the principal, ‘I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?’ The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of’?
Boy, after a moment ‘Legs.’
Madam: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy.: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Madam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Fire truck
Madam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get it, u have to use ur hand.
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
‘Send this Boy to IIM AHMEDABAD, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!’…24 Jun, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Adult SMS Munna bhai SMS
A really nice thing said by
If women didn’t exist , all d money in d world would have no meaning…
Enough of jokes on ladies.
Now its time for some male bashing (For a change).
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares??? Just throw them
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!
Q: What’s the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: Dont know, havnt seen either
Q: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he’s God’s gift?
A: Exchange him!!
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract!
Pass this on to women who need a laugh and to men who can handle it !!11 Jun, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Girlfriend Boyfriend SMS Husband-wife sms PJ SMS
Men can give lecture on ANY SUBJECT for 2 hours is = TALENT.
Women can give lecture for 2hours WITHOUT ANY SUBJECT is = GOD’s GIFT.7 Jun, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Funny SMS
Boss is a person who thinks that nine women together can produce a child in one month.
And if this target is achieved
he wants twins… !!!!!6 Jun, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Adult SMS Naughty SMS
When a man talks dirty 2 a women,
its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man,
its $$$ per minute!
A student failed in law & decided to make a deal with professor.
Sir, do u know everything about law?
Student: If u can answer dis question, i will accept my final marks, if u cant, u have to give me “A”.
Boy asked: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?”
Prof thought about it for hrs & pondered no answer.
He had to finally give up as he really did not know.
He gave the boy his “A”.
The following day, professor askd same ques to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.
He asked one student.
Sir, u are 65, married to 28 yrs old woman, dis is legal but not logical.
Ur wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, dis is logical but not legal.
Ur wife’s boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet u have given him an “A”, dis is neither logical nor legal.
The professor collapsed…24 May, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Funny SMS Husband-wife sms
BABA CHODUDAS KA UPDESH:
3 Cheeze Zindagi me ek Baar milti hai
(2) PAHLI CHUDAI
3 Cheeze Soch samaj Kar Uthao
(3) DARU SANG SODA
3 Cheeze Soch Ke Karo
(1) PADOSAN SE CHUDAI
(2) KHET ME KHUDAI
(3) DOST KI VIDAI
3 Cheeze Kisi Ka Intezar nahi Karti
(1) RANDI KI CHOOT
(2) BIGDA HUA POOT
(3) AATA HUA MOOT
3 Cheeze Choti Na Samjo
(1) SOYA LUND
(2) AATI THUND
(3) Mutual FUND
3 Cheeze hamesa Dard deti hai
(1) KUNWARI CHOOT
(2) DAKU KI LOOT
(3) ATKA HUA MOOT
3 Cheeze hamesa apko khush rakhegi
(1) CHODNE KI KHUMARI
(2) BHOJAN KI TAIYARI
(3) MERI YARI.
Men will be Men:
Behind every successful man,
there is a WOMAN…
If u need more success…
Increase the number of women.
What’s the difference between a man & a woman …
A man always has the same DICK between his legs all his life …
A woman MAY NOT!!
|^|^|^|^|^|^|^|^|^|^|^|17 May, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Non-Veg SMS