Husband: “Hi Honey,listen me carefuly and dont be tensed, I was driving to Nidhi’s place along the coast road and had a sudden puncture. Then the car skidded and rolled over. Only a small tree kept me from sliding over a cliff and falling 500 feet. I managed to crawl out of the car only one second before the tree snapped and the car fell over the cliff. I am now in hospital with a broken arm, several broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and severe concussion.”
Wife: “Who is Nidhi ???20 Jan, 2014 By SMS Hippo In: Husband-wife sms
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes it is.”
Boy- “I have a baseball.”
Man- “That’s nice.”
Boy- “Want to buy it?”
Man- “No, thanks.”
Boy- “My dad’s outside.”
Man- “OK, how much?”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy- “Dark in here.”
Man- “Yes, it is.”
Boy- “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball back and forth.”
The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
The son says “$1,000.”
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again…”
HEIGHT OF ATTITUDE:
A cockroach’s last words to a man who is about to kill him:
“Go ahead & kill me, u coward! U r jealous of me bcoz ur wife is afraid of me & NOT AFRAID OF YOU !
Wife-meri age 58 saal
hote hue bhi, Aapka ek dost mere husn ki
taarif karta hai.
Wife-Aapne kaise pahchana?
Pati-wo Bhangaar ka vyapari hai.18 Jul, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Husband-wife sms
Husband & Wife dono market me gaye to Ek Ladki ne HELLO kiya
Wife:kaun thi wo?
Husband:Tum plz dimag kharab mat karo abhi usko bhi batana hai k tum kaun ho.18 Jul, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Husband-wife sms Jokes SMS
Hubby- Aaj khana kyun nahi banaya?
Wife- Gir gayi thi our lag gyi. .
Hubby- Kahan giri..Aur Kahan lagi?
Wife-Takiye pe giri thi aur aankh lag gyi.
Husband & Wife went for a walk. While walking, husband hits his leg on a stone & starts bleeding.
He looks at her hoping that she would tear her dupatta & wrap it around his leg.
She looks in his eyes & says…
“Sochna bhi mat! Designer piece hai !”6 Jul, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Husband-wife sms Wife SMS
Heart melting love story: Boy: I can’t marry u. My family is totally against it. Girl: Who r they 2 stop u? Boy: My wife & 2 kids.4 Jul, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Center Shock SMS Jokes SMS
Wife: Can You Help me in The Gardening..?
Husband: What do You Think, I am a Gardener?
Wife: Can You Fix The Door Handle?
Husband: What do You Think, I am a Carpenter?
In The Evening When Husband Came From Work, he Saw Everything Has Been Fixed-He Who Did This?
Wife: Our Neighbour. But he Gave me Two Options. Either I Should Give Him Burger or a Kiss.
Husband: I am Sure You Must Have Given a Burger.
Wife: What do You Think, I am McDonalds?4 Jul, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Husband-wife sms
Wife saw board outside a shop
Monsoon Offer Only for today :
Banarsi saree 10/-
Excited Wife to Hsbnd: Give me
Rs. 500, I’ll buy 50 sarees
Hsbnd – Birbal ki ma, istri ki
dukan hai vo !!
Cant stop laughing
A man ordered for a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error.
He got the car and started sending it on errands. He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes.
One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired.
The man agreed and said to the car; Car, go and bring my children from school.
The car went and didn’t return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong.
Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive.
He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
The car parked right in front of them and said; “These are your children sir”. In the car were their Landlady’s two daughters, their choir mistress’s two sons, his wife’s best friend’s daughter, their pastor’s son and their neighbours two sons.
The Wife said; Don’t tell me all these are your children ?.
The man asked her calmly; Can you first tell me why our children are not in the car?. …21 Jun, 2013 By SMS Hippo In: Husband-wife sms Naughty SMS