Politics SMS

He took a lotus, 2 propose.

Boy went to a girl’s house 2 tell his feelings for her.
He took a lotus,
2 propose.
But her mom opened the door & all he could say was….

“Aunty please vote for BJP”

26 Mar, 2014 By In: Funny love sms Politics SMS
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only I am honest:Arvind kejriwal

Everyone else is corrupt,only I am honest:Arvind kejriwal
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Translated:
Ye duniya pittal di, baby doll mein sone di!

17 Mar, 2014 By In: Politics SMS
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हिन्दी सिनेमा में हमेशा डॉक्टर कहता है

हिन्दी सिनेमा में हमेशा डॉक्टर कहता है कि  ” हम मा और बेटे में से किसी भी एक को ही बचा पाएंगे ”   **

जब राहुल गांधी पैदा हुआ तो डॉक्टर ने कहा कि ” हम   मा बेटे   दोनों को बचा लेंगे पर  देश को नहीं बचा पाएंगे  **

7 Mar, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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I seriously care for this country.

Rahul Gandhi : I seriously care for this country. But I wont be able to watch Satyamev Jayate !

Amir Khan : Why Mr. Gandhi ?

Rahul Gandhi : Us waqt Chota Bheem aata hai !

4 Mar, 2014 By In: PJ SMS Politics SMS
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राजसाहेब ठाकरे ,शरद पवार,अजित पवार व आर.आर पाटील

राजसाहेब ठाकरे ,शरद पवार,अजित पवार व
आर.आर पाटील हेलिकॉप्टर मधून जात
असतात.
.
.
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शरदराव १०० ची नोट
खाली टाकतात व
म्हणतात”मी एका मराठी माणसाला सुखी केले
…….
.
.
“अजित पवार ५० च्या दोन
नोटा खाली टाकतात व
म्हणतात”मी दोन
मराठी माणसाना सुखी केले”
.
.
.
आर.आर पाटील १०० कॉइन
खाली टाकतात व
म्हणतात”मी १००
मराठी माणसाणा सुखी केले
.
.
.
एवढा वेळ शांत असलेले आपले लाडके राज
म्हणतात”मी तुम्हा तिघाना खाली टाकले
तर आक्खा महाराष्ट्र सुखी होईल…..

Good Morning..

26 Feb, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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A 3.5 yr old kid at d school

A 3.5 yr old kid at d school admission interview:
Teacher T: wats ur name
Kid K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T: wat all ur hobbies
K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T: can u tell one rhyme
K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T(puzzled): y r u answering same for all questions
K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T(in anger): enough stop it…u may leave..ur kids application is rejected
Smart kid replies: yesterday a 40 yr YOUTH gave d same answers to all questions asked to him n he is projected to b our next Pm n my school admission is rejected for doing d same..

7 Feb, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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Sonia: How was the interview beta?

Sonia: How was the interview beta?
Raga: Mom, I prepared for history exam and arnab took math’s

Rahul Gandhi’s interview reminded me of the Azharuddin days.
Commentator: How is the pitch? Azhar: The boys played well

Arnab: What came first? The chicken or the egg??
RaGa: We want to empower the chicken and give RTI to the egg. 😀

If RaGa becomes PM, the red beacon that he’ll get for his vehicle will
be called LOL batti

Rahul talked of empowering people a 100 times in 10 minutes. And he
has not been able to empower his PM in 10 years!

Rahul Gandhi just told Arnab Goswami that the questions are out of syllabus.

You know how in exams we know very little and try to fit it in every
answer? That’s what Rahul is trying to do in every question!

The fundamental issue at hand is by the time Rahul understands the
question Arnab is on 3th question

Rahul Gandhi has now said ’empowering women’ more number of times than
total women population of the country.

This is like watching 2 different shows. Arnab’s questions and Rahul’s answers.

Arnab: “Would you have a debate with Modi?”
Rahul: “Look we need an alternative. Tap global energy. Empower women!!!”

Arnab: What is your name?
Rahul: Empower women.

Just In: Arnab Goswami booked for raping Rahul Gandhi under section 377

If Stupidity was measured in bricks, Rahul Gandhi would be the great
wall of China.

Every time Congress try to dig a grave for Narendra Modi, Rahul Gandhi
jumps into it.

and the best….

If you missed, Rahul Gandhi interview will be repeated on Pogo Channel !!!

29 Jan, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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शरद पवार यांच्या पक्षाकडून राज्यसभेसाठी दुसरा उमेदवार माजिद मेमन

शरद पवार यांच्या पक्षाकडून राज्यसभेसाठी दुसरा उमेदवार माजिद मेमन ह्याने अर्ज भरला.
तर कोण हा Majid Memon

1).1993 च्या Bomb Blast मधे अहो रात्र कष्ट आणि तपास करून पकडलेल्या अतिरेक्याना सोडवणारा हाच तो वकील मजिद मेमन

2). 2002 घाटकोपर बॉम्ब ब्लस्ट मधिल अतिरेक्याना सोडवणारा हाच तो वकील.

3). Sanjay datt is neither a traitor nor a terrorist म्हणून त्याची केस लढणारा हाच माणूस.

4). ह्याच्या अंडर ट्रेनिंग घेणारा वकील शहीद आज़मी ह्याचे काम पण POTA(Prevention of Terrorism Act, 2002) अंडर पकडलेल्या अतिरेक्यांची सुटका करणे.
..असा हा काळा वकील(बोका) आता राज्यसभेवर पाठवतायेत आपल्याच शिवरायांच्या महाराष्ट्रातले भावना शून्य लोक…राजकारण लाज सोडून द्यायला लावतो ते खरय…आणि मीडीया चे हे सर्व झाकून ठेवल्याबद्दल विशेष आभार.. !! जय महाराष्ट्र.!!!

28 Jan, 2014 By In: Politics SMS
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Prime Minister Manmohan Singh summons the secretary

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh summons the secretary & asks him “How come these Gujaratis know everything before anyone else knows about it ?

Secretary: There is a phrase in Gujarati “Shu Khabar?”

Manmohan Singh: What does that mean?

Secretary: It means ” What is the news. ?” & each Gujjubhai asks this to other whenever they meet & the answers given by the other one circulates the news very fast & they happen to know everything the fastest.

PM decides to experience this so he removes his turban & disguises himself & dresses typically like a Gujrarati & reaches Borivali, the typical Gujju hub of Mumbai city.

He sees one Gujjubhai & asks him “Shu Khabar?”

The Gujjubhai replies
“Salo Manmohaniyo paagdi kaadhi ne Borivali ma aavyo chhe em sambhalyu chhe.” !!!

Manmohan fainted….

26 Jan, 2014 By In: Politics SMS
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वो बच्चा बड़ा होके अरविन्द केजरीवाल बना….

एक बालक जिद पर अड़ गया …. बोला की छिपकली खाऊंगा.
घरवालों ने बहुत समझाया पर नहीं माना।
हार कर उसके गुरु जी को बुलाया गया। वे जिद तुड़वाने में महारथी थे.
गुरु के आदेश पर एक छिपकली पकड़वाई गई. उसे प्लेट में परोस बालक के सामने रख गुरु बोले, ले खा… बालक मचल गया.
बोला, तली हुई खाऊंगा.
गुरु ने छिपकली तलवाई और दहाड़े, ले अब चुपचाप खा. बालक फिर गुलाटी मार गया और बोला, आधी खाऊंगा.
छिपकली के दो टुकड़े किये गये. बालक गुरु से बोला, पहले आप खाओ. गुरु ने आंख नाक और भी ना जाने क्या क्या भींच किसी तरह आधी छिपकली निगली… गुरु के छिपकली निगलते ही बालक दहाड़ मार कर रोने लगा की आप तो वो टुकड़ा खा गये जो मैंने खाना था. गुरु ने धोती सम्भाली और वहां से भाग निकले की अब जरा भी यहां रुका तो ये दुष्ट दूसरा टुकड़ा भी खिला कर मानेगा…

करना-धरना कुछ नहीं,नौटंकी दुनिया भर की…. वो बच्चा बड़ा होके अरविन्द केजरीवाल बना….

25 Jan, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS हिंदी संदेश (Hindi SMS)
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Ek Bar Kejriwal, Modi, Sonia aur Kareena Train se ja rahe the.

Ek Bar Kejriwal, Modi, Sonia aur Kareena Train se ja rahe the.

Tabhi ek Goofa Aayi aur Kissing aur thappad Ki aawaz aayi.

Jab train bahar aayi to Kejriwal ka Gaal Laal tha,

Sab ke Sab Chup..

Sonia soch rahi thi Ke AAM ADMI paagal hote hai, Kejriwal Ne Kareena ko Kiss Kiya Hoga, aur thapad khaya Hoga.

Kareena soch rahi thi Ke Kejriwal ne Mujhe Kiss Karne ke Liye galti se Sonia Ko Kiss kar diya hoga aur thappad Khaya.

Kejriwal soch raha tha Ke Modi ne Kareena ko kiss kiya Lekin, Kareena ne Mujhe Samajh kar mujhe thappad Mara..

Modi soch raha tha ek bar fir gufa aaye aur Main fir se kiss ki awaj Nikal kar fir se kejriwal ko thappad Maaru… “Abhi sale ne INDIA ki politics dekhi kaha Hai…. ”

23 Jan, 2014 By In: Politics SMS
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Now Nirupa Roy!!!

Now Nirupa Roy!!!
1. Nirupa Roy’s laptop has got WIDOW-XP installed.
2. Nirupa Roy can instantly cry on a joke.
3. Nirupa Roy’s laughing mms goes viral…she claims it’s doctored.
4. Nirupa Roy has 6 sons. All of them are named Vijay.
5. After Nirupa Roy’s first marriage, her father said by mistake: “Sada abhaagan raho!”
6. In her next flick, Nirupa Roy might lock lips with Alok Nath.
7. Cannes to roll out white carpet for Nirupa Roy’s welcome.
8. Nirupa Roy’s most horrifying nightmare: she saw that she was young!!
9. Nirupa Roy’s most romantic moment: when her husband gave her flowers for the first time…on Mother’s Day.
10. Nirupa Roy’s daughter doesn’t talk to her anymore as she tried to name her ‘Vijay’ when she was born.
11. Nirupa Roy has 73 shades of white in her wardrobe collection.
12. Nirupa Roy to play lead role in upcoming movie ‘Hasee To Phasee’.
13. Nirupa Roy dragged Johnson & Johnson to court over the “No more tears” campaign.
14. Nirupa Roy plays Holi with sindoor.
15. Nirupa Roy’s Whatsapp status says: “Last cried at…”
16. Nirupa Roy was once approached for a comedy movie. That casting director lost his job.
17. CRY Foundation has offered Nirupa Roy to become its brand ambassador.
18. Nirupa Roy was born pregnant. She became grandmother at 4.
19. Nirupa Roy sends Weepeys instead of Smileys.
20. Nirupa Roy looks for her groom in Obituary columns.
21. During school days, Nirupa Roy always preferred to dress as a Widow during fancy dress competitions.
22. Nirupa Roy still thinks Draupadi’s ‘Cheerharan’ was a wardrobe malfunction.

15 Jan, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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