Mix Sms

Few Onion tales

Few Onion tales:

* There was a time when people cried only while chopping onions. Now they cry even while buying onions

* Thappad se darr nahi lagta hai sahab, PYAAZ ke bhav se lagta hai..

* Friend Bought 3Kg onions. He’s the new hero of my society. Also updated Facebook status and tagged 349 friends

* The Lays Cream n Onion flavor is gonna be just cream

* Now I know that she is really crying because she can’t afford onions

* Rupee is falling, onion price rising. Union Bank of India should change to ‘Onion Bank of India

* Waiting for a movie titled “Onion Kapda Makaan”.

* There are only two kind of Indians. One who can afford Onions and other who cant.

* Heard Sonia gandhi has deposited 100 KG onions in her swiss bank account.

* Thieves steal 5 KG onions from a posh Vasant vihar house.

* Onion hits 100 rupee mark in 3 days. BLOCKBUSTER! – Taran Adarsh

* That awkward moment when Onion Rings are getting costlier than diamond rings

* “Yaar, such a show off Pyaaz is. Main ‘batata’ hoon.” – Potatoes

* बाबुल की दुआएँ लेती जा, जातुझको सुखी संसार मिले … मायके की तुझे न याद आए, ससुराल मे इतना “प्याज” मिल

* Namak swadaansuar aur Pyaaz aukatanusar

* Boy to vendor: 3 kilo pyaaz Dena.
2 aunties talking behind him , ladka achhe ghar ka lagta hai, apni Pinky ke liye kaisa rahega…

15 Aug, 2013 By In: Funny SMS Mix Sms
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Worth reading What’s Your Sun Sign

Worth reading What’s Your Sun Sign – Book by Chetan D Narain

Its Amazing n true

Virgo Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284581098230874
Virgo Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284580238230960

Aquarius Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284582948230689
Aquarius Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284582298230754

Aries Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284584244897226
Aries Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284583801563937

Cancer Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284585004897150
Cancer Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284584571563860

Capricorn Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284585514897099
Capricorn Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284585141563803

Gemini Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284586351563682
Gemini Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284585641563753

Leo Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284586681563649
Leo Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284586524896998

Libra Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284587504896900
Libra Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284587078230276

Pisces Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284589214896729
Pisces Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284588494896801

Sagitarius Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284589701563347
Sagitarius Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284589561563361

Scorpio Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284590181563299
Scorpio Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284589938229990

Taurus Man – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284590728229911
Taurus Woman – https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=284590564896594

Honestly.. Must read !!!

3 Aug, 2013 By In: Misc SMS Mix Sms
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Awesome Conversation between God And a Man.

Awesome Conversation between God And a Man. Read it and don’t forget to share it with your friends.

Man: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Man: Promise You won’t get mad …

God: I promise

Man: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Man: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Man: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Man: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Man: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Man: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn’t work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Man (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Man: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.

Man (embarrassed): Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Man (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.

Man: I’m Sorry God

God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things , the Good & the bad.

Man: I will trust You.

God: And don’t doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Man: I won’t God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children…

REPOST if you believe in GOD

Why Do we feel sleepy in Prayer,

But stay awake through a 3 hour movie?

Why are we so bored when we look at the HOLY BOOK,

But find it easy to read other books?

Why is it so easy to ignore a msg about God,

Yet we forward the nasty ones?

Why are Prayers getting smaller,

But bars and clubs are expanding?

Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity,

But very difficult to engage with God?

Think about it, are you going to forward this?

Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you will get laughed at?

Forward this to all your friends.

80% of you won’t forward this.

God  said:
If you deny me in front of your
friends, I will deny you on the day of judgment:

When one door closes , God opens two : If God has opened  doors for you,

send this message to everyone
including me….

God has no BLACKBERRY but he’s my favorite contact … !!

He is not on FACEBOOK but he is my best friend …. !!

He is not on TWITTER but I still follow him …. !!

& even without the INTERNET I am always connected to him …..!!

He is not on WHATSAPP but he’s always online …..!!

Forward this
if God’s been good to you….

18 Jul, 2013 By In: Mix Sms
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Look at the month of july

Look at the month of july,,,you have never seen this.Thìs year july has 5 mondays 5 tuesdays and 5 wednesdays. This apparently happens once in every 823 years. This is called money bags. So send this to any 6 friends and money will arrive in 5 days. Based on chinese mythology the one who does not pass this on will have money troubles for the rest of the year..
Do you agree that we have 26 alphabets in English, as given below

A = 1 ; B = 2 ; C = 3 ; D = 4 ;
E = 5 ; F = 6 ; G = 7 ; H = 8 ;
I = 9 ; J = 10 ; K = 11 ; L = 12 ;
M = 13 ; N = 14 ; O = 15 ; P = 16 ;
Q = 17 ; R = 18 ; S = 19 ; T = 20 ;
U = 21 ; V = 22 ; W = 23 ; X =24 ;
Y = 25 ; Z = 26.

With each alphabet getting a number, in chronological order, as above, study the following, and bring down the total to a single digit and see the result yourself

Hindu –
S  h  r  e  e   K  r  i  s  h  n  a
19+8+18+5+5+11+18+9+19+8+14+1=135=9

Muslim
M  o  h  a  m  m  e  d
13+15+8+1+13+13+5+4=72=9

Jain
M a  h a v  i  r
13+1+8+1+22+9+18=72=9

Sikh
G  u  r  u   N  a  n  a  k
7+21+18+21+14+1+14+1+11 =108 =9

Parsi
Z  a  r  a  t  h  u  s  t  r a
26+1+18+1+20+8+21+19+20+18+1=153=9

Buddhist
G  a   u  t  a  m
7+1+21+20+1+13=63=9

Christian
E  s   a  M  e  s  s  i   a  h
5+19+1+13+5+19+19+9+1+8=99=18=9 

Each one ends with number  9   

THAT IS NATURE’S CREATION TO SHOW THAT GOD IS ONE !!!

18 Jul, 2013 By In: Long SMS Mix Sms
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Mumbai is rich, Mumbai is poor.

Mumbai is rich, Mumbai is poor.
Mumbai is fast, Mumbai is slower.
Little bit sweet, and little bit sour,
Sometimes it’s hot but not too more’.

Mornings are energetic and evenings are electric.
Noons are lazy but Nights are crazy
And any one you ask he always say “M busy”
Dude, life in Mumbai” Is not so easy

There is lot of Masti with little bit of Maska
Welcome to the city that can’t live, without Bollywood Chaska

From cooker whistles to the traffic jam horns,
From steaming tea kettles to breaking nut-bettles
From telephone rings and doorbell brings.
There are people connecting through Blackberry pings

Where there’s little time to spare for kids
People here spend their lives on bids
Here you actually pay your travel fare by meter
But milkman mixing water is not a cheater!

Sev puri and bhel puri are all Mumbai chaat
Relishing it with spicy chutney is no easy art
From popcorn to ice-cream, all sold on cart
Mumbai o Mumbai, you’re always close to my heart

Where local trains usually run on time
And violently rushing for a seat is not a crime
Here 3 PM for lunch and 12 AM to dine
People face hardships, but still say “it’s fine”

From Mt Mary in Bandra to Mumba Devi in Town
And ISKCON in Juhu to Haji Ali in Mumbai’s Crown
Faith runs deep as the Arabian Sea
But people don’t hesitate to pay early darshan fee.

Marathi, Punjabi, Gujarati and Bengali
Everyone together celebrate Id and Diwali
Holi is colorful and Christmas is cheerful
Spend some time here and your life will be unforgetful

Billionaires to beggars, all found in this city
Be careful dude, this place is a bit witty.
Overall this dreamworld is huge but pretty

Mumbai o Mumbai you’re a wonderful city

18 Jul, 2013 By In: Mix Sms
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Interesting thing about Thursday in 2013

Interesting thing about Thursday in 2013.

4/4/2013 Thursday

6/6/2013 Thursday

8/8/2013 Thursday

10/10/2013 Thursday

12/12/2013 Thursday.

Jo calendr 1991 ka tha,

………… wahi,,,

Calendar 2013 ka hai,

Date & Day even Festivals
are same,

Kaun kehta hai,
Ki, …………….

Gujra hua waqt wapas  nahi aata??.

I hope, I am the first who inform u…

Enjoy the year of 1991 in 2013….!

So

We are back in the 90s…..

GDP is back to 5%,

Dalmiya is back in BCCI,

Murthy is back in Infosys,

Nawaz Sharif is back in Pakistan,

Madhuri is back in bollywood &

Sanjay Dutt is back in Jail….

Market me naya aaya hai….frwd karo phatta phatt.

9 Jul, 2013 By In: Mix Sms
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ORIGINAL NAME – ADOPTED WESTERN NAME :

ORIGINAL NAME – ADOPTED WESTERN NAME :

Janya Banya Joshi – Jon Bon Jovi

Audumbar Agashe – Andre Agassi

Malati Hinginkar – Martina Hingis

Damayanti More – Demi Moore

Meghana Rane – Meg Ryan

Arjun Shivajinagarkar – ! Arnold Schwarznegger

Devendra Gadge – Darren Gough

Shevanti Dagadu – Sharon Stone

Sitaram Wagh – Steve Waugh

Janoba Rodke – Jonty Rhodes

Purshottam Sampat – Pete Sampras

Baal Ghate – Bill Gates

Menaka Solanki – Monica Seles

Vallabhrao Phutane – Vladimir Putin

Raju More – Roger Moore

Banya Borkar – Boris Becker

Alladh Gore – Al Gore

Shankar Varnekar – Shane Warne

Raju Phadke – Roger Federer

Nikhil Pinjare – Nicholas Cage

Meghana Kolhe – Megan Foxs

27 Jun, 2013 By In: Mix Sms
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साबुदाणा कसा तयार होतो

साबुदाणा कसा तयार
होतो किंवा बनतो याबाबतची हाती लागलेली माहिती शेअर
करावी अशी इच्छा होती म्हणून…
‘साबुदाणा ‘ हे उपवास अथवा धार्मिक कार्यक्रमांमध्ये वापरले जाणारे
लोकप्रिय खाद्य आहे परंतु ‘साबुदाणा ‘ हे
शाकाहारी कि मांसाहारी खाद्य…?
दक्षिण भारतातील तामिळनाडूमध्ये सालेम परिससरात सालेम ते कोईम्बतूर
मार्गावर साबुदाण्याचे अनेक कारखाने आहेत. कारखान्यापासून दोन कि.मी.
अंतरावरुनच आपल्याला अत्यंत घाणेरडा वास येऊ लागतो. साबुदाणा हे
बटाटयासारख्या गोड कंदापासून बनविले जाते. केरळात हे कंद
मोठया प्रमाणावर उपलब्ध असून ते साधारण ६ कि.ग्रॅ. वजनाचे असतात.
कारखान्याचे मालक सीजन मध्ये घाऊक प्रमाणात या कंदांची खरेदी करुन
त्याचा लगदा सुमारे ४० फूट X २५ फूट खडयात साठवतात. खड्डे उघडे
असतात व त्यातील लगदा आंबवण्यासाठी कुजवतात. हजारो टन कंद
खड्डयात कुजत असतो. त्यावर रात्रभर प्रचंड मोठे विजेचे दिवे लावलेले
असतात. त्या भोवतीचे लक्षावधी किडे, पाखरे खड्डयात पडतात.
हा लगदा कुजत असताना रोज त्यात पाणी मिसळले जाते. परिणामी त्यात
दोन इंचाएवढे मोठया अळया आपोआप उत्पन्न होतात. ज्याप्रमाणे गटारात
किडे आपोआप तयार होतात तसे.
खड्डयांच्या भिंती या लक्षावधी अळयांनी/किडयांनी झाकून
गेलेल्या असतात. कारखान्याचे मालक हा लगदा त्या अळयांसह एकत्रितपणे
यंत्राद्वारे क्रश (Crush) करुन पेस्ट सदृश बनवतात.
ही कृती ५-६ महिन्याच्या कालावधीत अनेक वेळा repeat केली जाते.
अशा रीतीने अळया व किडयांसह पेस्ट तयार होते. ही पेस्ट नंतर गोल
चाळण्यांमधून काढली जाते व छोटे छोटे गोळे बनविले जातात व नंतर त्यास
पॉलिश केले जाते. हाच तो उपवासाचा ‘साबूदाणा’ होय.
म्हणूनच अनेक जण साबूदाणा मांसाहारी समजून टाळतात.
आता आपणच ठरवा की ‘साबूदाणा’ शाकाहारी व उपवासाचा पदार्थ म्हणून
वापरावा का ? तसेच जर आपल्याला उचित वाटत असेल तर
ही माहिती अधिकाधिक मित्रांना/ मैत्रिणींना व नातेवाईकांना सांगा.

22 Jun, 2013 By In: Mix Sms मराठी संदेश (Marathi SMS)
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A Woodcutter lost his iron Axe…

A Woodcutter lost his iron Axe (Kulhaadi) & Lord Offerd him silver axe.
He denied.
Lord then offed him gold axe.
He further denied.
Lastly Lord offered him iron axe which he accepted.
Seeing his Honesty Lord gives him All 3.

One day he goes Again 2 Forest with his Wife.
Bt his Wife Falls into d River, he Cries n Pleads 2 d Lord 2 give him his Wife…
Lord brings Out Angelina Jolie & Asked
‘Is this ur Wife’
He Replied – Yes.!
Lord said ‘U Lied n u r gona b Punished’..
He Said ‘wait Lord I Lied bcoz if I had Said No, u Would have taken out Cameron Diaz.
If Then I said no, u Would have taken Out My Wife n Seeing my Honesty, U Wud hve Given me All 3.
Bt I m a Poor Man, I Can’t keep All 3.
So I said Yes to Angelina.
God :rulayega kya pagle…ja le ja isse…

Moral: Men r Honest Liars.

29 May, 2013 By In: Jokes SMS Mix Sms
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Which Indian city…?

Which Indian city…?
How to identify the city you are in…

Scenario 1: Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on…
That’s MUMBAI.

Scenario 2: Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up…
That’s DELHI.

Scenario 3: Two guys fighting and third guy comes from a nearby house and says, “Don’t fight in front of my place, go somewhere else.”
That’s PUNE.

Scenario 4: Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a tea stall there.
That’s AHEMDABAD.

Scenario 5: Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are in PUNJAB.

Scenario 6: Two guys fighting. Third guy comes and shoots both of them.
You are in WASSEYPUR.

Last Scenario: Two guys fighting third guy comes along with a carton of beer. All sit together drink beer and abuse each other and go home as friends.
You are definitely in GOA.

17 May, 2013 By In: Funny Questions SMS Mix Sms
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Time and smile

Time and smile are 2 amazing things in our life.
Because sometimes time makes us to forgot smile & sometimes someone’s smile makes us  forget time.

8 May, 2013 By In: Broken Heart SMS Express Feelings Heart Sms Love SMS Mix Sms
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