Misc SMS

He took a lotus, 2 propose.

Boy went to a girl’s house 2 tell his feelings for her.
He took a lotus,
2 propose.
But her mom opened the door & all he could say was….

“Aunty please vote for BJP”

26 Mar, 2014 By In: Funny love sms Politics SMS
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only I am honest:Arvind kejriwal

Everyone else is corrupt,only I am honest:Arvind kejriwal
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Translated:
Ye duniya pittal di, baby doll mein sone di!

17 Mar, 2014 By In: Politics SMS
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हिन्दी सिनेमा में हमेशा डॉक्टर कहता है

हिन्दी सिनेमा में हमेशा डॉक्टर कहता है कि  ” हम मा और बेटे में से किसी भी एक को ही बचा पाएंगे ”   **

जब राहुल गांधी पैदा हुआ तो डॉक्टर ने कहा कि ” हम   मा बेटे   दोनों को बचा लेंगे पर  देश को नहीं बचा पाएंगे  **

7 Mar, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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I seriously care for this country.

Rahul Gandhi : I seriously care for this country. But I wont be able to watch Satyamev Jayate !

Amir Khan : Why Mr. Gandhi ?

Rahul Gandhi : Us waqt Chota Bheem aata hai !

4 Mar, 2014 By In: PJ SMS Politics SMS
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राजसाहेब ठाकरे ,शरद पवार,अजित पवार व आर.आर पाटील

राजसाहेब ठाकरे ,शरद पवार,अजित पवार व
आर.आर पाटील हेलिकॉप्टर मधून जात
असतात.
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.
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शरदराव १०० ची नोट
खाली टाकतात व
म्हणतात”मी एका मराठी माणसाला सुखी केले
…….
.
.
“अजित पवार ५० च्या दोन
नोटा खाली टाकतात व
म्हणतात”मी दोन
मराठी माणसाना सुखी केले”
.
.
.
आर.आर पाटील १०० कॉइन
खाली टाकतात व
म्हणतात”मी १००
मराठी माणसाणा सुखी केले
.
.
.
एवढा वेळ शांत असलेले आपले लाडके राज
म्हणतात”मी तुम्हा तिघाना खाली टाकले
तर आक्खा महाराष्ट्र सुखी होईल…..

Good Morning..

26 Feb, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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bachpan me ham waha sona pasand karte the

True lines
bachpan me ham waha sona pasand karte the jaha se chand tare dikhe. . .

Aur aaj waha jaha charger ki pin lag sake. . !

:-):-);-);-)

19 Feb, 2014 By In: Cool SMS Funny SMS Life SMS
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कोंबडी म्हणूनच वाढलीस पण आता तू चवळी आहेस

गोष्ट थोडी जुनी आहे … कोल्हापूर चा रांगडा धनगर गडी, रोज मटण चिकन खायची सवय. पुण्यात आल्यावर सदाशिव पेठेत जागा मिळाली . जरा सेटल झाल्यावर दगडू रोज घरी चिकन मटण बनवून खाऊ लागला. वासाचा घमघमाट पूर्ण बिल्डिंग मध्ये पसरत होता. थोड्याच दिवसात सगळे शेजारी आपापसात ताक्रार करू लागले. पण एवढ्या रांगड्या बहद्दुराच्या नादी  लागणार कोण ? शेवटी गोगटे काकांनी जबाबदारी घेतली.

दुसऱ्या दिवशी सकाळी काकांनी दगडू ची भेट घेतली. बराच वेळ इकडचं  तिकडचं बोलून शेवटी विषय निघाला, समजावल्यावर दगडू म्हणाला “पण काका मी तर लहानपणापासून हेच खात आलोय. रानावर वाढलेला मी, ती सवय अशी कशी सुटेल?” काका म्हणाले “अरे बाळ तू पूर्वी वेगळ्या संगती मध्ये होतास. आता तू अस्सल विद्वानांच्या संगतीत आहेस ! तुला कळतंय का तू किती भाग्यवान आहेस ते ?”

शब्दाने शब्द वाढत गेला … पण निष्कर्ष निघेना शेवटी काका म्हणाले “ह्यावर एकच उपाय … तू शाकाहारी बनलं  पाहिजेस “. तो म्हणाला “ते कसं शक्य आहे?” काकांनी थोडसं  पाणी हातात घेतलं, शांत पणे  डोळे मिटले, एक दीर्घ श्वास घेऊन त्यांनी नमस्कार केला आणि मग हातात पुन्हा एका तांब्या मधून थोडसं पाणी घेतलं. दगडू आश्चर्यचकित होऊन सगळं बघत होता. दगडू वर पाणी शिंपडून ते म्हणाले “तू एक धनगर म्हणून जन्माला आलास, धनगर म्हणूनच वाढलास पण आता तू एक ब्राम्हण आहे”. भारावून गेलेला दगडू काकांच्या पाया पडला. काकांनी त्याला मनापासून आशीर्वाद दिले आणि सोसायटी ची त्रासा पासून सुटका झाल्याचा निश्वास सोडला.

संध्याकाळी जोशींनी हळूच गोगटे काकांना सांगितले कि त्यांनी दगडू ला दुकानातून चिकन घेवून येताना पहिला. तावातावाने जोशी आणि गोगटे दगडू कडे आले तर खरच स्वच्छ धुतलेलं चिकन ताटात ठेवून पाठमोरा उभा असलेला दगडू त्यांना दिसला. काका काही बोलणार एवढ्यात …दगडू ने हातात पाणी घेतलं आणि ताटावर शिंपडून तो म्हणाला “तू कोंबडी म्हणून जन्माला आलीस, कोंबडी म्हणूनच वाढलीस पण आता तू चवळी आहेस ” !!!

15 Feb, 2014 By In: Long SMS Puneri patya SMS मराठी संदेश (Marathi SMS)
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Solve this, if u think…..u r brilliant.

Solve this, if u think…..u r brilliant.

1. I am a 11 letter Indian city.
2. Last 3letters is part used inside the computer.
3. 4, 5, 6 letters is used to  store water..
4. 1, 5, 4 is disining software.
5. 3, 7, 6 is computer company name.
6. 2, 5, 6, 8, 11 is a soap name

ALL THE BEST
101% brain war

15 Feb, 2014 By In: Puzzle SMS
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A 3.5 yr old kid at d school

A 3.5 yr old kid at d school admission interview:
Teacher T: wats ur name
Kid K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T: wat all ur hobbies
K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T: can u tell one rhyme
K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T(puzzled): y r u answering same for all questions
K: my name is suraj,my father name is dilip,mother’s name is sandhya
T(in anger): enough stop it…u may leave..ur kids application is rejected
Smart kid replies: yesterday a 40 yr YOUTH gave d same answers to all questions asked to him n he is projected to b our next Pm n my school admission is rejected for doing d same..

7 Feb, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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Quiz time ….. Intelligent one.

Quiz time ….. Intelligent one.

A Japanese ship was en route in the open sea. The Japnese captain went for a shower removing his dimond ring and Rolex watch on the table. When he returned, his valuables were missing.
Captain immediately called five suspected crew members and asked each one where and what he was doing for the last 15 minutes.

The Phillipino cook (in a heavy overcoat) : I was in fridge room getting meat for cooking.

The Indian Engineer (with a torch in hand) I was working on generator engine.

The Srilankan seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag which was upside down by mistake.

The British Radio officer: I was messaging to company that we are reaching next port 72hrs. from now that is wednesday morning at 1000hrs.

The British navigation
officer: I am on night watch, so sleeping in my cabin.

The captain caught the liar.

So who is the thief and why ?

3 Feb, 2014 By In: Puzzle SMS
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An intelligent trader travels frm 1 place to another carrying 3 ….

Solve dis question

An intelligent trader travels frm 1  place to another carrying 3 sacks having 30 coconuts each.

No sack can hold more than 30 coconuts.

On the way he passes through 30 checkpoints and on each checkpoint he has to give 1 coconut for each sack he is carrying.

How many coconuts are left in the end?

29 Jan, 2014 By In: Puzzle SMS
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Sonia: How was the interview beta?

Sonia: How was the interview beta?
Raga: Mom, I prepared for history exam and arnab took math’s

Rahul Gandhi’s interview reminded me of the Azharuddin days.
Commentator: How is the pitch? Azhar: The boys played well

Arnab: What came first? The chicken or the egg??
RaGa: We want to empower the chicken and give RTI to the egg. 😀

If RaGa becomes PM, the red beacon that he’ll get for his vehicle will
be called LOL batti

Rahul talked of empowering people a 100 times in 10 minutes. And he
has not been able to empower his PM in 10 years!

Rahul Gandhi just told Arnab Goswami that the questions are out of syllabus.

You know how in exams we know very little and try to fit it in every
answer? That’s what Rahul is trying to do in every question!

The fundamental issue at hand is by the time Rahul understands the
question Arnab is on 3th question

Rahul Gandhi has now said ’empowering women’ more number of times than
total women population of the country.

This is like watching 2 different shows. Arnab’s questions and Rahul’s answers.

Arnab: “Would you have a debate with Modi?”
Rahul: “Look we need an alternative. Tap global energy. Empower women!!!”

Arnab: What is your name?
Rahul: Empower women.

Just In: Arnab Goswami booked for raping Rahul Gandhi under section 377

If Stupidity was measured in bricks, Rahul Gandhi would be the great
wall of China.

Every time Congress try to dig a grave for Narendra Modi, Rahul Gandhi
jumps into it.

and the best….

If you missed, Rahul Gandhi interview will be repeated on Pogo Channel !!!

29 Jan, 2014 By In: Jokes SMS Politics SMS
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