Santa-Banta SMS

see my legs, and tell me.

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of a bird & asked: Tell me the bird’s name
Banta:I dont know
Exminer: U failed.Wats ur name?
Banta: You see my legs, and tell me.

22 Mar, 2014 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370

Santa was asked what India is doing to help in the search of the missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.

He said, ‘We’re investigating how a Malaysia airline plane had a Maharashtra registration number.’

13 Mar, 2014 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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Knock knock…. Santa: kaun?

Knock knock….

Santa: kaun?

Police: Police! Darwaza kholo, Humko baat karni hai…..

Santa: tumlog kitne ho?

Police: 3.

Santa: toh apas mein karlo na baat….!

3 Mar, 2014 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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Valentines special

Valentines special

Lady to Santa: Aapka doggy toh badaa tandarust hai… Tiger  jaisa dikhta hai….,
kya khilate ho?

Santa: Yeh kamina Tiger hi hai, Pyar-Vyar k chakkar me pad gaya, shakal Kutte jaisi ho gayi hai.

15 Feb, 2014 By In: Santa-Banta SMS Valentines Day SMS
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Santa: My wife died yesterday.

Santa: My wife died yesterday..Im trying to cry but tears are not coming, what to do?
Banta: Imagine she is Back…

19 Jan, 2014 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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Santa Called @ vodafone /airtel/relaince/idea. care

Santa Called @ vodafone /airtel/relaince/idea.  care

A girl picked up the phone

Girl: ……….customer  care mein aapka swaagat hai

Santa:thank u

Girl: mai aapki kya sahaayta kar sakti hu??

Santa:kya aap shaadi karna chahti hai mujhse??

Girl: jee aapne galat number laga diya hai

Santa:nai nai maine sahi number lagaya hai, aap shaadi karengi?

Girl: jee mai shaadi mein interested nai hu

Santa:arre madam sun toh lijiye ek baar

Girl: not interested

Santa:love marriage karengi toh honeymoon mein switzerland, arrange marriage karengi toh paris

Girl: jee mai aapse shaadi karna hee nai chahti toh aap offer kyu de rahe hai??

Santa:court marriage ka expense 10,000rs
Normal wedding ka expense 2,00,000rs
Muslim style wedding mein sirf 200rs

Girl: aapko samajh nai aata ki mujhe shaadi nai karni fir bhi aap samajte nai

Santa:ab pata chala madam aapko humara dard, jabki hume nai interest hota phir bhi aap naye naye offer ke naam per  baar baar call karti rehti hai

Girl shocked, Santa rocked

13 Jan, 2014 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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Santa had password for e-banking

Santa had password for e-banking “ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-spiderman”  

Banta-Yaar! Itna lamba password??  

Santa- Kya karoon? Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character, 1 capital aur ek special character zaroori hai

17 Dec, 2013 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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Banta ko ek Lawaris bandar Mila.

Banta ko ek Lawaris bandar Mila. Woh us bandar ko Police Station le gaya aur pucha ki iska kya karun?Inspector ne kaha Isko Zoo le jao.Next day Inspector ne Banta ko Bandar k saath bus stop per dekha.Inspector: Arre tum isko Zoo nahi le kar gaye..??Banta: Kal gaye the Sir, khub ghoome, bada maza aaya… Aaj Qutub minar jaa rahe hai… Phir India Gate jayenge..

7 Dec, 2013 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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100 metre ki race ho rahi thi..

100 metre ki race ho rahi thi…

Referee said ‘1,2,3 GO!’…

Everybody started running except Santa.

Referee – y r u not running…?

Santa – My number is 4

7 Dec, 2013 By In: Santa-Banta SMS
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Parle G online

Teacher: Beta batao Parle G ke packet pe jo Green dot bana hai uska matlab kya hai?

..

Santa-‘mam iska matlab Parle G online baithe hain.. 😀

28 Nov, 2013 By In: PJ SMS Santa-Banta SMS
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Santa raised his bat on 35 runs..

Santa raised his bat on 35 runs..

Dhoni- “Its not 50 or 100 yet”

Santa-“Tu chup kar 12th standard fail.
Only a GRADUATE can undrstnd d importance of passing marks.

21 Nov, 2013 By In: PJ SMS Santa-Banta SMS
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Ek ladki ki shadi santa se …..

Ek ladki ki shadi santa se tay ho gayi. Lekin uska already banta se affair chal raha tha.

Banta: tujhe santa se shadi karni hai to kar le koi problem nahi hai. Bas ek baar mere se sax krwa le. Bohot kharcha ho gaya hai tujhe ghumaane me.

Ladki maan gayi aur sex ka din aur time decide ho gaya. Sex se just pehle banta ko yaad aaya k condom to ghar pe hi bhool gaya. Usne ladki ko plastic ki theli laga k sex kr diya. Sex k baad pata chala k theli ladki ki vgina me hi reh gayi.

Finally ladki ki shadi hui. Suhagraat par jaise hi santa ne apna penis daala aur jhatkey marey to theli bahar aa gayi.
Ladki ki gaa*d fat k haath me aa gayi.
Fir bhi badi himmat kar ke wo boli: dekhte kya ho ji… tumhe nahi pata, pahli baar sex krte  waqt aisi thaili fat ke bahar aati hai.

Santa ne theli ko dekha aur fir ladki ki taraf dekha.

Ladki: mera vishwaas karo ji. Main sach keh rahi hu aisa hota hai… aap kya soch rahe ho???

Santa: wo sab to theek hai…. Main ye soch raha hu…………. is par

“AGARWAL SWEETS kyu likha hua hai??????
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31 Oct, 2013 By In: Adult SMS Santa-Banta SMS
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